(yes, it’s best to do these kinds of things at 3am.)

• num­ber of girl­friends i’ve had: 7
• num­ber of girl­friends who no longer talk to me: 2 (the last 2, actually)
• num­ber of girls i’ve loved: 4
• num­ber of girls i’ve loved that were my girl­friend: 2
• num­ber of girls i’ve loved that were my girl­friend as an adult: 1
• num­ber of “what is this?” rela­tion­ships that i’ve had: 6
• num­ber of rela­tion­ships that ended well: 1
• num­ber of rela­tion­ships that, although they ended poorly, got bet­ter: 3
• num­ber of girls i’ve bro­ken up with: 2 ½ (the ½ was a mutual, pre-​​ordained-​​type thing)
• num­ber of girls i want to apol­o­gise to: all of them.