the way things work

Posted by on November 4, 2005 at 4:05 pm.

y’see, the thing about death is, is that it’s not uni­ver­sal. it may be the great equaliser, but it is by no means uni­ver­sal. if some­one close to you dies, and you walk down the street, you see peo­ple going about their daily rou­tines and you won­der how they can do it. don’t they under­stand? don’t they know? of course they don’t know. so you won­der, if i walk up to one of these peo­ple, and grab them, and shake them, and say, “what’s wrong with you? don’t you know chris died? don’t you care?” they won’t, and they don’t. and why should they? they’re not your friends, they’re not fam­ily, they’re just peo­ple like you, but, in this case, not like you. so you look back on your life, and think about the times some­one you know has had some­one close to them die, and you attempted to show sym­pa­thy. maybe you hon­estly felt bad for this per­son, maybe you didn’t. at any rate, it’s not the same. we all might be the same, and we all end up the same way, but when we die, the peo­ple who sur­round the one who was lost are dif­fer­ent than every­one else on the planet at that instant. and that’s what makes death so hard to han­dle - at the time when you feel clos­est to human­ity, when you are under­go­ing the one thing we all will expe­ri­ence, you’re dif­fer­ent because of what you’ve lost, and nobody can change that.

good­bye chris, , bizza, my dear dear friend. you were nearer and dearer to me than i imag­ined, and i am quite lucky for hav­ing had you in my life for five years. you lived a full life, and while it was cut short in an unkind fash­ion (is there any other way?), you should feel good about all the peo­ple you touched and made happy. you were truly one of the most humane and kind souls on the planet (and that’s not just post-mortem hyper­bole). i’m glad you’re with your father again, as i know how much he meant to you and how much you missed him. and, you’re still with me, with us, those you’ve left behind. you will remain unforgettable.

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